they say

~Ava just said she wished she had s sleep time game with bathtubs and beds and you can match them... But you get more points if you get a tub and a bed cause it means your clean and sweet. Yeah can you buy me that game mommy?

~Ava and Ella were eating at table and I turned on extra Christmas twinkle lights and Ava sighed and said ohhhhh ellla this is Sooo ssoooo soo Married!!

What Ava??

You know mommy ( singsong sweet voice) soooooo married and mommys and daddy's loving and kissing and lights on and MARRIED.

o! ...Romantic.......

~Ava: I need more salt on here cause my teeth are getting bored.

~Ava after gulping an extra big mouthful of milk.. " wow - that went right down the drain...." her finger following that path from ther mouth - down her throat - to her tummy...

~ Jacks new things to say are:
 thats not nice!
oh gosh....oh gosh...
not fair mommy...

hes obviously  a disgruntled 2 yr old...

o and when hes doing something fresh.. he looks up at you and says with a grin..
" nothinnnnnnn" nothinnnnnnn mommy.."

ache

Sitting with Ava eating some homemade chicken soup for lunch.. Getting lost in my heartache for the families in newton ct. Dazing off sort of wallowing when I hear Ava's content little sigh ... she looks up at me and says "its a beautiful day in this room mommy"

.... Yep it is....

savoring every single moment. thankful.

Ava after bath: me so fresh and me hands are so soft and fluffy

Ava says:
Cinderella has a fairy godmother but we have GiGi AND Papa Bear!

Ava seeing a commercial for the voice... Points to Adam Levine and says " he's kinda pretty mama!!"

getting fired up

#letsgetpraisy link up...entry #2

#letsgetpraisy

so i blog. all alone over here on my little corner on the world wide web- i blog....

 with good intentions of printing a blurb book for memories sake. 

but here i am opening up my quiet blog doors to get all kinds of crazy linking up with jami nato ...blogger extraordinare - a source of encouragment to me...

to find the Gospel on the radio learn all about it here... 

Our God is big and He speaks to us in unusual ways....

heres one of my entries:

go here ( or IG hashtag #letsgetpraisy) & check out the awesomeness...Be Encouraged!!! and amazed...

( and make dinner first cause you will get sucked in and time will flyyyyy.......)

and vote here for your favorite!!!

Dragging

I have to drag myself....drag myself out of bed these days... Ella still nurses at 3am...and that last hour and a half before I have to get up deliciously warm and deep and restful...draggggggggingg...

But something happens as I make my way into the dark kitchen and turn on my keurig-
Something happens as I soak in the silence and my heart lifts in praise.
He answers.
And speaks love and grace and mercy- the kind of grace that is more than enough-
He speaks and boosts my dreams and steadies my heart again and again and again.
Coffees ready... But I'm going soak this beautiful silence in a bit more.. Good morning Lord

Good theology

we have a crack in our kitchen floor.
Jack - in his infinite 2 yr old wisdom has declared this Jesus' home.
And routinely lays on the floor ( mostly dirty) and rubbs the place that -and I quote -
" me own precious Jesus lives"

So I in my own wisdom broke out the Easter books and read about heaven!

And now Jack calls the crack...
affectionately
"Me own heaven."

sausage for me????

As I was cutting up cooked sausage for future meals..

 jack ran in to the kitchen exclaiming

 "uh oh mama uh oh"

what's up jack?

holding up both hands he said

" my hands are empty.. No sausage in them? Uhhohh both hands need sausage for me mama!?!"

he got his snack cup of sausage and was very very pleased...

" this sausage gooooood for me muscles mama....."

Playing church

We stayed home from church Sunday.. dealing with ...overtiredhopewedon'tgetsickitis...

dan told the babies to get ready cause in a few minutes we were going to have church at home...

when we walked into the living room this is what we saw:

we sang "o happy day " and " no sweeter name" ( many many times...) then we sat together and read scriptures.. ava interrupted dan to tell him to stand up just like pop does... dan said no its ok to sit down in home church and ava slowly shook her head muttering.. ill have to ask pop about that...

we all took turns praying and jack blessed his ( future) lunch about 15 times. ella learned to say amen and my heart overflowed.

nursing

Warm in my arms,
Your sweet cheek so round and rosy.
Dark lashes and rosebud lips.
You fit just perfect in my arms.
Crossed ankles. Exploring little fingers.
Little nose bobbing up and down.
Your babyblues- so sleepy. So wise. Looking up at me. Sharing secrets.
The sweetest smell.
Want to breathe you in.
One of these days it will be the last time. Our last time.
My last time.
But I'll remember.
And we will still share secrets my sweet firefly. You'll see.
Xo

They say

Mmmm mama that dinner smells good! That will fill me up yummy!
- jack

You thinkin (s)tuff mama?
Yep
Me too mama in me mind. So much (a)mazin (s)tuff me thinkin bout I might fall on the floor!
Are you thinkin what me thinkin mama?
Don't fall down!
- Ava

A

Ava has been my sweetest helper today. I think she can tell that I'm not feeling good ( Lyme) and has been quick to hug and snuggle me.. Even offering to give me a kiss on the lips!!!!!!!!! ( something she never ever does - cant handle the feeling)

Tonight after dinner she carried in the dishes.. And when I suggested she go play.. She said-
" give me a sec mama.. Me gotta wipe this floor!" And she did!

Sweet

Wearing this today... And my rough and tumble little boy suddenly stopped and hugged leg saying
" your beautiful like Cinderella mama"

Morning

Woke up early today.
Made coffee in the dark.

Heard the sandman get up.
Felt his strong arms giving me a morning hug.

Ava up. Ella up. Silly snuggles and sister whispers. (Already)
Jack up. No more snuggles! Tumbles and tumbles.

Eggs- more coffee.
Good day prayers. Goodbye kisses.

Hello world.

Dear Ella
I love you my sweet victory girl.
I love the way you squish up your face when you smile.
The way you open your eyes wide and pretend your talking to me about whatever you've got in your chubby hand.
Your sweet lip kisses. Complete with a mmmppmm sound.
The way you are so proud of yourself. Your amazing dance moves.

Your curious and wonderful.
We are a team you and I... Love love love you.

- mama

faithful

just heard sad news that my dads longtime friend passed away after a long illness... and my heart sank for my parents grief and for this godly mans family.. 

and i was struck by how this man that i ve never met changed my life through his faithfullness to his Saviour.. 

see, many many years ago...Lenny shared Jesus with my parents.. and because of that day when he looked into my pops face and said " Ricky you need Jesus..." 

i had that privilege of growing up with parents that taught me about Jesus Christ... and my children have a family that serves the Lord... 

rest in peace lenny stadler.. thank you for your gift of influence for my family. 

you changed our lives with your words of love

Honey

Was pouring honey over some oatmeal this am ... and jack walked over holding up his spoon asking for some...

I asked him whats it was called and he thought and thought... Then replied.. "It's delicious mama! "

He got some on his spoon and very carefully walked back to his chair at the table before licking and savoribg his spoonful of delicious.

evictory

ella victory
 my sweetest girl.

you are finally crawling! and scooting! and cruising every where!

you have the funniest little grin- and you often do things to be silly...  - you just light up our world..

jack

oh dear sweet charming jackboy!

today you were soooo incredibly tired.. you didnt even know what to do ... i laid you in daddy & mommys bed and you buried under the covers and were quickly asleep.

daddy went to check on you 2 hrs later but the bed was empty!!!!! looked all around for you - calling your name.. no jack!!!

then we heard your little voice singing " no sweeter name than the name of Jesus" and found you sitting in the laundry hamper in the closet.. playing air guitar and singing.

too wonderful.

ava said...

mama: this house is a pit! ( messy)
ava: yeahhhh.. an arm pit.....
________________________

mama: jack you are a nut!
ava: yeahhhhh.. a nutcracker!

________________________

mama: ava whats going on? ( A laying on the floor rolling around...)
ava: oh im just havng a monster kinda day..
mama: a monster day???
ava: yeah - when everything is just soppy and foppy ( avas words for yucky..) and  ~ monsterish~

a few minutes later..

ava: mama?  guess what? i wasnt having a monster day today.. i was just having a poop day.. and i just got rid of it!!

_________________________

mama: hey ava what did you think about church today?
ava: i think church to day was ok. why is the singing so short? such a baby bit of worshipping jesus... mama ( i was leading worship...)- you better try harder next time to worship Jesus for longer. Jesus is king of the world you know. you better make him happy.

_________________

ava: my favorite thing in the whole wide earth is eating dinner.

Lahyme is lahame

Lyme flare up. Been 2 weeks now...

Ava: 3 yrs 3 months old...
Goes to preschool tues/ thurs 9-11:30. Loves it!!
Speech therapy for an hour every Friday. Potty trained. Loves Sunday eggs everyday ( sunny side) thinks going to target is always a " good idea mama"

Ava, you are the sweetest girl! But fierce! Strong! Opinionated ! You make up little songs and sing and dance all day. You are quick to stroke jacks head.. Or kiss Ella's feet.
I worry sometimes cause you often say things like " it's not perfect for me" or me just can't mama" but the my heart lifts because you are easily lead to prayer- stretching your hand out to pray for others.. Very sensitive to my mood and health- with a sweet little hand in mine or a just because kiss and " love you mama"
You try everything .... Taking pride in success.. And getting determined in failure...

Wise beyond your years my little baby blue. Love you!

Ava re her new pumpkin fork and spoon.., oh they are so cute me don't want to make them soppy and Germy and dirty...

Ava has been particularly chatty this morning .. I snuggled her and said "hey bluebird.. Remember when you were little and didn't talk...?"

Ava smiled and said.. " and now I have to many words to say! Mama is that a miracle??"

sweet

ava: 

"oh mama your so beautiful to me mama. but you -do- have boy hair and no makeup like a girl... but you smell so beautiful and you sing so beautiful and when me see you i just feel tears in me -points to throat-- cause your so beautiful and i love you ." 

(walking over to church holding hands....)

..." and mama this day is so beautiful too... me so proud of this day and you & me going to church together...praising jesus together and everything" 

( daddy home with jack and ella... went to early service)

the  sweetest words from the sweetest girl

Morning

It's an ordinary morning here today... The living room is scattered with toys.. The table has bowls of almost gone oatmeal and a community dish of scrambled eggs. A cup is leaking all over the floor...
It's a cooler morning but the windows are open and the sun is hot.. Mickey mouse is on tv and all 3 of my sweet littles at sitting in the floor watching and singing all touching some how.. Foot to foot.. Shoulder to shoulder.
I'm thankful.

Ava: Thomas ( the train)  looks like a different boy today... maybe he got a haircut.

Jack: mama! cmere..want to tell you something....( then beatboxes in my ear....)

Ellas new trick is hiding a toy under the couch and saying uh oh.. then finding it and clapping wildly...!!!! and repeat. and repeat.. and repeat......

Ava said.." mama I need a policeman! I have emergency!". What Ava? " yeah my undies are in my tushy.. Big emergency.."

Jacks favorite thing to say lately is ... "silly goofy"....translation..
Silly goosey!!!

birthday girl

can't believe a wholel year has gone by! 

ELLA VICTORY is ONE!

can believe it was only a year ago that i birthed you into this world with confidence and overwhelming peace. 

my sweet firefly,

this year has flown by.. filled with sleepless nights and crazy days.. 

 filled with snuggles and kisses and laughter.

and peace. deep down in my heart. underneath everything else.. peace.

ella you love to scoot around and peer around corners.. love to collect guys and put them in and out of containers.. love to hold ands and dance.....laugh at your sister and brother.. love to chatter on and on.. your right leg is always toe dancing... you nurse around the clock and only eat pretzels.. watermelon and maybe some pasta... 

love to be worn in the beco baby wrap... and sleep in our bed.

peek a boo is your favorite game. 

ella my peaceful warrior girl.. my our God bind your heart to his.... 

happy birthday ella victory.

xoxox mama

1 yr old...33 inches long.. 23 lbs!

Potty break

Well Ava.. After months of verbal preparation...( pretty soon.. No more dipes!)
You woke up.. Wanted undies on.. And we are on day 2 of no accidents!!

We've been learning that boys have a penis and girls have vaginas...

This am I was trimming your hair Ava, and you broke into real sad tears.. Why?

" because I don't want a penis mama.."

Don't worry Ava.... Your "' Ginna" is safe.. Haircuts are harmless.

Jack and Ava are rocking their babies.. Each singing their own version of "mamas here"....

Ava loves to look at bees...
Today in the garden we found a bees nest... Ava was mesmerized..
"oh oh oh the bees are so so beautiful ( beuuuuful) but why do they bite? Oh I know mama.. They have no glory....

I just wanna slow down... Want to stop time and pour it in a bottle.
Our days have been filled with
day trips to Newburyport...playground..hot dog truck...

Starbucks then the boardwalk.

Grilling and sandbox and slide and laughing

Adventures with daddy.. Coming home with new flashlights and princess bags and matchbox cars & fench fries..

The babies go into the bath smelling like sunblock and ocean and dirt and come out sweetly sleepy smelling like lavender.

Ava:....walks casually into room..."actually? .i pooped."

Ava in bathroom putting on my deodorant...looks up at me.. Don't worry mama I'm nice and fresh!

Jack wandering around playing air guitar " just like pop"

Ella scooting across the floor.. so fast! trying to get you- how she hugs... !

 things we love:

grilling outside
the sprinkler
red beans in a wrap
the park in newburyport
" o happy day"
playing drums and flute
reading princess books
imagination
marching
trains

sandman

just want to take a minute to record so i remember and our children always know..
 dan - i love you. i love your hard working - pain in the neck leaving your shoes all around the house- gentle self.. i love you how you kiss me goodbye every morning with a tight squeeze with both arms around me. i love when you kiss our babies on the lis and call them their special names.. i love that you bought me a steam vacuum cleaner and a dust buster when i needed cheering up. i love how you tuck the babies in and tend to there nighttime cries. i love you eyes across the room.  i love you more and more and more. crazy in love.
~s

A

Dear Ava
You are the funniest girl today.
When you didn't get the second lollipop (yummy earth organic) you wanted .. You stamped your little barefoot and alternated folding you'd arms / putting your hands on your hips... Saying ooooo me so frustrated.. NEVERMIND mama.. NEVERMIND. .

I love you my fierce girl.

Ps- we recovered by playing a fabulous game of " imagination"...together- you made md pretend breakfast.. You described the cups plates and food in great detail and used sound effects!! Love you bluebird.

Spent the morning in Newburyport... Playground.... Hot dog stand... Ice coffee - such fun!

plans

i have a dream for my girls... a dream for my little man...

i have plans for them- i watch them everyday and feel like i can see their future... 

jack is my music man.. he's always drumming and playing air guitar- is so sensitive to the Spirit.. cries when songs sound melancholy or sad... is a worshipper....but knows how to use his cute little charm in just the right way... my cowboy

( lord bind his heart to yours!!! - may purity be his) 

already ella is  music girl after my own heart.. lights up and bebop's to a good song.. puts her head down and soaks in the slow sweet sounds...

she's shaping up to be a strong personality- with a  killer smile. my firefly.

and my ava. my bluebird... such dreams i have for her...

 she's so sensitive to the beautiful things around her- so thoughtful and inquisitive..her view on life is like the ocean... 

 but my heart was seriously challenged this morning.. wondering what the future holds for her... wondering ( and thinking the worst) how her sensory needs will change and stretch or limit her  

and my God . my beautiful God in His strength and in His grace...

( thank you Lord for your Grace!)

quieted my heart and put my narrow view of His perfect plan

 in front of me face and spoke into my spirit.. 

" I have a plan for Ava West"

" I have a plan for Jack Sullivan"

"I have a plan for Ella Victory"

so gentle. so powerful.

who am i? 

so good to trust an all powerful God .

 a god who is my Saviour.. again and again and again.

thankful for His perfect plan. His perfect design.

more things i don't want to forget:
jacks eartube surgery " i hear you mama"

ella sharing

avas 1st day of preschool

breakfast picnics outside

feeding the chickens

Things

I need to blog about:

How jacks new deal is sticking out his tongue ...gross.. Fresh.. Cute.

How Dan bought a motorcycle

Ella's new skills

Ava's 3 rd birthday

How she calls her new bike her motorcycle and when she can't quite peddl she said this motorcycle needs gas!!!

Leah's visit and how long her legs are and how fast 8 years goes...

About how we sing and dance and play air guitar.. Drums...violin to I happy day you washed my sings away. 100 times a day

Bout how Ava always says that's why I'm a big girl.,,and " why you do that sometimes mama"

Bout how jack runs up and says want to hug you mama!!

Bout his much my babies love and laugh and fill up my heart

Dan said it last night. Our quiver is full and it feels good.

took my cowboy jack to the end doc today ..finally....8 ear infections in 7 months!!!! poor little man.. we had the best time together despite his constant pulling on his ears saying
ouchie mama..jesus heal please?

during the hearing test he kept saying 'so scary mama so so scary mama.. need daddy come fix it mama.. so scary...' so sweet

he just loves pop these days especially. pop and his g-tar..

I'm thinking ( and praying) that my jack will be a music man for sure... a catchy commercial will stop him in his tracks....any singing gives him cause to bust out his little air g-tar.....and his favorite game is deciding who plays what imaginary instrument... ava drums.. mama...violin... ella do re mi (piano)..."me jack..gtar!!"
songs of the moment 'o happy day you washed my sin away" (kim walker) and jack can be found alone rocking back and forth singing " no sweeter name than the name of jesus" (kari jobs)

watched him fall asleep in the car after a long doc visit . and am just marveling at his perfect lashes and his sweet lips and his amazing heart.
love.

Ava

Everything about you, my almost 3 yr old, seems so bright and beautiful. Your dark lashes and blue eyes.. Sweet sandy curls.. pOuty rosy lips. you are curled up against me, getting sleepy.. Telling me a story using words I didn't know you knew..like - Actually- and -brand new-.. and "to tall for words" your saying "pretty flowers make your heart tingle" and explaining to me how your 2 and a big big girl...

earlier today you excitedly and incredulously came up to me and said . ( pointing t your throat) 'Jesus put a new song right here mama.. for me... hear it now?' and sang the sweetest little melody.....i said oh ava its beautiful and you said 'yea.. jesus gave it to me...'

when I'm stressed out you lay your hands on m e and say a prayer for me to feel better....

what a bright beautiful amazing heart you have my bluebird.. your so lovable.

Went in kitchen to do a few things... Left Ella and Ava in living room.. Happily playing....told Ava she was in charge.....
Minutes later she runs into kitchen..


Mama ! Charge is hard work! Your turn now!

my heart tonight

I see the cloud, I step in
I want to see Your glory as Moses did
Flashes of light and rolls of thunder, 

I'm not afraid
I'm not afraid

Show me Your glory, show me Your glory, my God
Show me Your glory, show me Your glory
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/j/jesus_culture/show_me_your_glory.html ]
I'm awed by Your beauty, lost in Your eyes
I long to walk in Your presence like Jesus did
Your glory surrounds me and I'm overwhelmed

I'm not afraid
I'm not afraid

Show me Your glory, show me your glory, my God
Show me Your glory, show me Your glory

I long to look on the face of the One that I love
Long to stay in your presence, it's where I belong

Oh how we love you, Oh how we love you
Oh how we love you Jesus

-jesus culture

god in me

I got to share at NLC mothers day tea this past weekend.... Wanted to jot down some notes to remember...

spoke about the amazing women in my life.. 

about how gram luisa taught me that if your going to l i v e.. you better really LIVE....

about how gram dola taught me that love will find me.. not to go looking for love.

about how momalla said the sinners prayer with me.. when i was 5.. in the hallway at the grapal street house... stopping to wait for the phone to stop ringing because this was an important thing... 

about how she prayered for me one day - when i was sick and thank Jesus for healing me.. when i asked her why? because i wasn't better mommy said.. but i know you will be... such faith....

talked about how my whole life the Lord spoke over me through great men and women of God promising me miracles... that He was saving me for something great!

about me and the sandman.. and .our Testimony of love..how we are ~together by design~...

about our losses.. and our angel babies in heaven..

about how God spoke to my sad heart.. and reminded me that i may feel dry but my roots are deep and by the river... jer 17:7 & 8

about my miracle... Ava West

about my joy...Jack Sullivan

about my peace.. Ella Victory

about how now that my baby making days are over....

 He wants me to still be expectant with His dreams and visions for my life.... Pregnant with Promise.....

Delivery..dont be afraid..... just like giving birth to a baby.. the pain is quickly forgotten and diminished in the face of my future in His plan...

about how everyday i am challenged to be beautifully wonderfully amazingly rooted.. like a tree by the river... 

never fearing the heat.. or the dry times... 

trusting God in me... 

So this morning... Ella is finally sleeping after being up all night...

And Ava and Jack are quietly sitting eating oatmeal and I'm trying to steal these moments and read my devotional.. But I can't...I'm just staring at my babies. And breathing in the sweetness.. My heart is actually overflowing with thankfullness and joy.

My blessings are so great.

Oh man.... Dan just popped back in after already leaving for work with a Starbucks for me...well that's the icing on the cake..

He speaks my language. My cup runneth over...xoxo

Lord, you heard me.. You hear me.. And I'm so humbled and grateful. You restore my soul.

JACK:

Agh choooo....Excuse me mama! Me cused! (meaning sneezed)

Me got you mama......tickle tickle tickle!

Laaluuu

Mama make me (a) happy cowboy.

Once upon a time...you turn!

Favorite song:  Twinkle twinkle little star

Ava-isms:

"me body just feels too crazy mama"

"Kids are too noisy"

"Me almost freak out mama"

"You better now mama? Me doing Better."

"o wow..o wow"

in a happy moment..."happy new year everybody!"

Ava:....walks casually into room..."actually? .i pooped."

"nevermind mama.. nevermind.....me wishing for something mama.." oh? yeah..
..."something cold and juicy...something like a freeze pop mama.. me really wishing for that...but never mind...."


After a meltdown: "me ont know what just happened... Me love u mama"

love u ava~!!!!!

 the bluebird

 AVA WEST

the cowboy

JACK SULLIVAN

the firefly

ELLA VICTORY

spent a beautiful day in the sunshine. 

love you my sweet babies

Easter Sunday!

spent the night before up with sick throwing up babies but everyone made it through the night ( thanks daddy) and by breakfast were feeling good!!!!

we made it to church and stayed for the entire service!!! i lead worship..

(He lives...Happy day...My chains are gone...Run..O how He loves.) 

always a blessing but even more so when i can see my little family all together worshipping.. ava slept on daddys lap for most of the interactive service but jack was very very interested in what pop was preaching about... at one point the drama team was depicted the fight between satan and Jesus and jack was asking me where "super why ' ( kids show) was??.. but when Jesus won.. jack cheered!!! the rest of the day he preached..: Jesus is the champion".. . 

Thank you Jesus for your grace and mercy - Death has NO victory!

Ava: jack boy... Play me?
Jack: no thank you
Ava: jack.. Jesus say Play Ava!!
Jack: (hand to ear for a few)...no. No thank you. ( walks away)


Ava after a play group friend wasn't sharing.."Jesus be so sad with you! Me not..Jesus is!"

32

its my 32 nd birthday.

was woken up by my 2 sweet fellas...hearing Jack say happy birthday in the sweetest voice made my day! I've asked him to say it about two hundred. times. wonderful...then my bluebird sang to me...

 I got lots of baby hugs and sandman kisses.

fun gifts from my parents ( pedicure here i come!)

 and the most valuable gift of time so Dan and I could go on a lunchdate!!

1st one in at least a year....(true story)

went to not your average joes.. had cider mustard pork..held hands... deliciousness...

loved hearing my sweet babies say happy birthday mama

all day!!! 

loved smelling my beautiful dozen roses from dan! 

and my special single rose from my daddy

 ( which was hand delivered first thing in the morning with a starbucks double tall soy 1 pump mocha!!!) !

love love love my wonderful gift from my sandman.. 

frye campus 14l boots!!!! in dark brown!!!!

 I've been asking and wishing for this bad boys for yearssssss.....and he surprised me this year! 

and I'm determined not to feel guilty over the extravagance!!!

 thank you baby!

xoxxoxo ill wear them every single day. i will. 

hello 32..im ready for you....

Ava: me tell mama a story?
once upon a time..me no how..that's all me got....

try Ava..

okaayyyy was a girl named mama..she had a bluebird. a firefly and a brown bear cowboy. she tell storiessssszz....sing songsssss...make eggsssss....change me...jack toooo...Ella tooooo..(in a singsong voice) one day mama and daddy went on date and mama had boooottss onnnn.... Daddy shaved...held her hand and talked about sweet babies. The end.

Great story Ava! Thanks!

Welcome mama. Me love you

growing

ava seems to be growing every morning ..she looks just a little bit taller.. a little bit more like a "big girl" less like my baby!!!

somehow she got it into her sweet little head that everytime she -Sniffs- 

( in through her nose make a loud -sniffing - sound.... ) 

she grows......the greatest thing...

 so when i snuggle her and ask if shes growing.. 

i get a eyes wide open blue eyed stare and a wrinkled nose- sniffing-... so great.. soo soo great..

after jacks bath we snuggle on the couch wrapped in his towel ..sometimes have a quick snack then jambes.teeth..bed.. well the other night after snack.. i was getting his pjs on when i lifted his arms up and right in his little armpit was a teddy graham....lifted the other arm.. yup.. another one.. 

jack????? 

"me save din din mama!"

ella has the quickest smile.. and one of her favorite things is when daddy rubs her cheek with his rough beard.... she laughs and squeals! 

now, almost 7 months old.. when daddy picks her up she presses her fat little cheek right up against his. sweetness!

jack

i feel like i don't have the words to adequately capture you my little jack boy..

 your small and wiry and perfectly proportioned. and your skin is so soft and brown and your eyelashes are long and dark and frame your sweet baby blues-  your lips are so kissable & theres something about the way you wrap your arms around my neck and squeeze that is too precious...

.. but its your personality that i can't seem to capture on paper..
your facial expressions and little intonations that say so much.. the way you slowly look up and charm your way with our words..  you love to climb and touch, explore  and bounce and drive trucks.. . you love to snuggle and dance cheek to cheek and give baby kisses...you are a comedian! if something you do makes someone laugh .. you do it again and again...more and more animated..

 sometimes i find you standing alone in the kitchen listening to the worship music playing with your little hands in the air praising jesus...or strumming an imaginary guitar ..just like pop....

you love to find the jar of jam in the fridge and ask for a sammy!!! ( almond butter and raspberry jam)

you love to point out everything in the house to whom it belongs to.. ( "mama mama mama ..pointing to the laptop")  if I'm not careful where i put my coffee cup in the morning .. you'll bring it to me.. not before taking a few sips!!!! nummy mama!!!!   your  little voice is so funny.. when you get  excited the pitch gets higher and higher!!!!

some mornings you cry laying flat on the floor with your head in your hands cause daddy had to go to work...
some days you tenderly bring ella every toy in the house that is for a baby.
some times you run from ava - but most days you call her name...(not ava..but ava as in avamaria...........) and let her hold your hand or snuggle in the same chair.

if you manage to get out the front door..good luck chuck trying to stop you - you'll walk as fast and as furious as your little legs can take you - straight to the playground....and throw yourself head first down the slide...

before you were born God called you  - a protector and defender of the faith....
my rogue cowboy.
i love you
xox mama