Tuesday, June 28, 2011


so far in my life ive been pregnant for 234ish days...ava west ....
245ish days... jack sullivan...
& 224 days...and counting!

knowing this is our last baby - the final piece to the puzzle of our family makes me happy...excited about the Lords plan for us....the possibilities in our beautiful future....

but knowing that this is my last pregnancy...
the last time ill feel the secret thrill of carrying a new life before any one else knows...
the last time in my life ill feel my body grow and change to accomadate a beating heart..
the last time  to feel the joy of the first movements- 
 and the glorious sound of thump thump thump thump...
i love being pregnant ..( even with this last pregnancys complications..)
i love my  curvy belly and i relish the cravings for silly foods and the tiredness and all that goes along with it.. its such a miracle and im going to miss it...

but o to see our little ones face and smell her sweet smell!
nostalgic. excited.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Saturday, June 25, 2011



25 days left till this beautiful bellybaby doll can arrive
( @ 35 weeks....safely-ish...at the birthing center ..not a big scary boston hospital..)

Main Site

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

31 weeks pregnant.
bellybabydoll weighs 3 lbs 13 oz.
growing good!

                               Ava West is 2 years old!!!! cant believe it...my sweet little miracle!!!!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


time.does not fly when your waiting.
today im thankful for
 body pillows
& my sandman sleeping next to me at night
& watching ava run run run back and forth across the living room till i say wow! veerrryy fasttt
& jacks sweet snuggles...warm litttle body
& bellybaby dolls rolling movments
 & my curvy pregnant belly
& grilled cheese
& big living room windows with the sunshining in
& papa bear and mommy
& peace in my house
& lots of hugs and kisses.
and time. because it does tick by.

Monday, June 20, 2011



so exciting. 30 left till 35 weeks pregnant!!
these days are going by a bit faster now...ive gotten into the routine of just ...laying...not easy!!!!
excited about the future of my little family.
thankful for my wonderful papa
and my sweet amazing husband.
spent this fathers day just so thankful.
peace in our house this morning.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

love after bath before bed time with jack...reading books snuggling....

And then I say a little prayer,

for sweet dreams, and a courageus future for my little man.

I say Amen & roll over so his chubby cheek is pressed against mine

and inhale deeply.

I love the way he smells.

like a baby.

like possibility.

like hope.

like my son.

jack! your gowng so fast! almost a year old!!!

I smile and give him  kisses all over his face.

Then I pull his body in closer

wrap my arms around him,

and thank God for these moments.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

pregnancy update

sooo......just for the sake of ...
baby #3
positive test dec 10th 9 ( days after d's ."procedure")
week 7,8,9,10...bleeding. stress. trust
week 12 diagnosed with placenta previa
week 20 its a girl! all is well with baby! cervix only 2.8
week 22  cervix 2.3
week 24 cervix 1.7...major funneling
week 26 contractions. cervix soft open funneling dilated 1cm
hospitalized. contractions. low blood pressure.
week 29. still here. on procaradia 10 mg every 6 hours. contractions. at home
trusting.hopeful. 38 days.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

im t r y i n g.

Thursday, June 9, 2011


sooo.. enough of my complaining..........( 41 more days in case you forgot...)
in other news.....
my little bluebird is almost 2!! i cant believe it..seems like just yesterday i was laughing as she entered the world... everynight before bed i tell her a little story and end it with.. Jesus wanted mama to know that He heard her prayers and He loves her very much so Jesus  decieded to send her a miracle.. a little bluebird named ava!!!...
ava loves it & i love to remind her that our God does hear us! and she is my tangible miracle!!!
avas favorite things:
doing everything herself
kissing everyone  and everything she loves
going for walks..looking for birds (cheeep cheeps) ..and chasing ants
rubbing the babybelly
dada and papa ( lots of love for gigi -britney and mama too)
teaching jack to walk........
and calling auntie val or uncle do (la) on the phone

Wednesday, June 8, 2011


so today marks 29 weeks of being pregnant!! great big milestone!!! bellybaby is growing!

today marks 2 weeks since going to the doc for a routine chck and being hospitalized....
(& 5 days since being sent home!!)

sigh. today  means the end of the 2 week safe window since the last negative ffn test
 (which if negative gives u a 99 % chance of NOT going into preterm labor for the next 2 week..).
nervous. that 99% gave me peace of mind. 

and today is a day im trying desperately to hold on to the sweet promises of God..
and remember the miracle that this little life inside me is..
trying desperately to trust God in me because i feel alone...trying to trust all will be well....
trusting the Giver of Perfect Peace.

42 more days. seems like a lifetime.

Psalm 55:22
22Cast your burden on the Lord [releasing the weight of it] and He will sustain you... He will never allow the [consistently] righteous to be moved (made to slip, fall, or fail).

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

over the rainbow

trusting today. counting my beautiful blessings.
 the bellybabydoll has been moving and bouncing around. makes me smile....
feeling like 43days is a looonnggg time this morning.....the minutes seem to tick by very slowly..
thrilled to be home with my family. the kids new favorite game is running (crawling)  the length of the living room...toys on one end...mama in bed on the other end!!
sweet smiles are priceless!
my sandman is a champ and taking good care of me...
not to mention my gem of a mother who is sacrificing her life these days to be with us!!!
loved. xoxo

Sunday, June 5, 2011



45 Days till 35weeks..
 im safe at home in my cozy nest...
sharing my time between my quiet bedroom
and the lovely bed the sandman made me in the living room so i can be part of family life!
ava and jack are growing!! and im so happy to be here to watch` it....

the toughest thing though is not rshing to scoop up a crying baby.....or trying to reason with  almost 2yr old ava...about why i cant get up and "ring around the posie...'
45 days to enjoy my little family from a bed...45 days to pray over my bellybabydoll...and help her grow...
45 days ...trusting. believing. knowing God sees  me..hearing my heartbeats...

Friday, June 3, 2011


 in a few hours i will be settled into my own little bed.....
 in my own little house...... with my handsome guy and my sweet sweet babies.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

well yes....

because i am going home soon!!!
home to the sweet snuggs of my babies and home to my sandmans strong arm hugs.
home to gigi & papa bear and smiles and prayers and a little bed made up for me on the floor of the living room so i can be a part of family life!!
happy .
Jesus. my provider.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

to cherish

things i cherish

ava tilting her face sideways saying 'mama"? then pointing to her heart. and nodding when i say mama loves ava....
jacks hands exploring every nook and cranny in every toy..floorboard..wall crevis
making my morning coffee with ava on the counter ready to stir it all up herself.. rubbing her tummy.."ummm" when i take the 1st sip
dans silent i love yous acrosss the room.
jacks shy head tilt..followed by a big smile
thebellybaby bouncing and rolling as if to tell me ..its okay im still here
the way dan even in a hurry slows down when he kisses me
the way hugs seem to melt us in to one. me. belly.ava. dan. jack.
we fit. just right.


its a rainy day out my hospital window this morning. but i am determined to be  filled with joy.
determined to count my blessings....
grilled cheese with bacon & tomato.
chocolate milkshakes.