Sunday, March 25, 2012

Ava: me tell mama a story?
once upon a no how..that's all me got....

try Ava..

okaayyyy was a girl named mama..she had a bluebird. a firefly and a brown bear cowboy. she tell storiessssszz....sing songsssss...make eggsssss....change me...jack toooo...Ella tooooo..(in a singsong voice) one day mama and daddy went on date and mama had boooottss onnnn.... Daddy shaved...held her hand and talked about sweet babies. The end.

Great story Ava! Thanks!

Welcome mama. Me love you

Sunday, March 18, 2012


ava seems to be growing every morning ..she looks just a little bit taller.. a little bit more like a "big girl" less like my baby!!!
somehow she got it into her sweet little head that everytime she -Sniffs- 
( in through her nose make a loud -sniffing - sound.... ) 
she grows......the greatest thing...
 so when i snuggle her and ask if shes growing.. 
i get a eyes wide open blue eyed stare and a wrinkled nose- sniffing-... so great.. soo soo great..

after jacks bath we snuggle on the couch wrapped in his towel ..sometimes have a quick snack then jambes.teeth..bed.. well the other night after snack.. i was getting his pjs on when i lifted his arms up and right in his little armpit was a teddy graham....lifted the other arm.. yup.. another one.. 
"me save din din mama!"

ella has the quickest smile.. and one of her favorite things is when daddy rubs her cheek with his rough beard.... she laughs and squeals! 
now, almost 7 months old.. when daddy picks her up she presses her fat little cheek right up against his. sweetness!

Saturday, March 17, 2012


i feel like i don't have the words to adequately capture you my little jack boy..

 your small and wiry and perfectly proportioned. and your skin is so soft and brown and your eyelashes are long and dark and frame your sweet baby blues-  your lips are so kissable & theres something about the way you wrap your arms around my neck and squeeze that is too precious...

.. but its your personality that i can't seem to capture on paper..
your facial expressions and little intonations that say so much.. the way you slowly look up and charm your way with our words..  you love to climb and touch, explore  and bounce and drive trucks.. . you love to snuggle and dance cheek to cheek and give baby are a comedian! if something you do makes someone laugh .. you do it again and again...more and more animated..

 sometimes i find you standing alone in the kitchen listening to the worship music playing with your little hands in the air praising jesus...or strumming an imaginary guitar ..just like pop....

you love to find the jar of jam in the fridge and ask for a sammy!!! ( almond butter and raspberry jam)

you love to point out everything in the house to whom it belongs to.. ( "mama mama mama ..pointing to the laptop")  if I'm not careful where i put my coffee cup in the morning .. you'll bring it to me.. not before taking a few sips!!!! nummy mama!!!!   your  little voice is so funny.. when you get  excited the pitch gets higher and higher!!!!

some mornings you cry laying flat on the floor with your head in your hands cause daddy had to go to work...
some days you tenderly bring ella every toy in the house that is for a baby.
some times you run from ava - but most days you call her name...(not ava..but ava as in avamaria...........) and let her hold your hand or snuggle in the same chair.

if you manage to get out the front door..good luck chuck trying to stop you - you'll walk as fast and as furious as your little legs can take you - straight to the playground....and throw yourself head first down the slide...

before you were born God called you  - a protector and defender of the faith....
my rogue cowboy.
i love you
xox mama

ava west

dear ava blue, 

i know you hear things different than i do.. 
you process tactile.. audio..visual .. vestibular ..properception different then me..... things even taste different to you!

.. i know you are bombarded every day with sensations that confuse your smart little brain and disorganize you. i know that means you like to crash into pillows and spin and spin and spin...
 running is a relief for you and squeezes make every day better.

 so we can spin whenever you want.. and i will turn down the "noise" on the radio so we can dance to can wipe off my kisses and i won't feel bad... and if you want to wear your winter hat with the ear flaps into july .. its ok...

 i love you my sweet fierce happily chaotic gentle bluebird. my sensational girl.


 mama owl

Wednesday, March 14, 2012


I'm snuggled in my chair. .nursing Ella tonight.. enjoying our special time and all of a sudden have been bombarded with all sorts of emotions.
almost grieving the lost days of nursing Ava and Jack...

ill never forget my 1 St moments as a mama...but the best thing was weeks later when I finally got to snuggle you the nicu ..and you latched on for the 1 St time. we had 17 months filled with sweet special moments...through my  pregnancy with Jack and then together with Jack...then while pregnant with Ella my milk changed and u needed more so. the bottle took my place and needed me less. my favorite thing about giving you mamas milk was the way you stared up at me..the smoothness of your cheek and your long lashes...

my Jack! you and I spent long hours in the nicu together as i coaxed you to swallow my milk..our 1 St moments were right after u arrived..u seemed so sleepy ..little did we know your lung had collapse d .. not enough energy to nurse! but you caught on and you and i became inseperable!!! for 10 months i was the only on that could soothe you and the only one who spoke you r little language.. then my pregnancy with ella got intense and after i was suddenly hospitalized. you were suddenly weaned.... and you did soo good! such a champ.. you quickly adapted to getting comfort from GiGi and Daddy.. but i was a mess - alone in the hospital worried about and baby ella and missing my jack boy!!!

and now my sweet ella.. I'm soaking it all in - treasuring these alone times i have with you - listening to you  drink. and feeling your warmth.

so in awe of Gods creation and His perfect design.. His provision of nutrition and comfort - for baby and mama. so thankful.