dirty looks

so I rarely go anywhere withe all 3 babies alone these days..call me a wimp.
anyway I felt brave the other day and ventured out to target..alone..with Ava, Jack & Ella....quickly got what I needed..( toilet paper...diapers..and chapstick)...the little's were so good so I decided to reward us ( myself) with a soy dcafe peppermint mocha...

with hot deliciousness in my hand..ice water for Ava & Jack...all was well.

then something happened.( I pushed a good thing)
Ava melted down...screaming no no no totally freaking..then Jack started..no mama no mama..and not to be outdone Ella harmonized with a shrill naaanaaanaa...

let the looks begin..Everyone was staring.....Looking....as I was overheating ..frantically trying to put coats back on and get Ella back in carseat ..
a women begins giving Ava - looks-...and I'm getting hotter..she walks over and says..
" you know..your daughter.."

I interrupt with a fast sharp.." is only 2 1/2 .. and on the autism spectrum. I'm doing the best I can..."

and she finishes saying..." drinking your coffee..."
"your 2 1/2 yr old is drinking your coffee.."

o.

glory

Dans dear friend & mentor...
Pete Vine went to be with Jesus this weekend ...
such a bittersweet time...
such a good man..

thank you Pete for believing in my husband..for showing him what a Godly man is..for being a incredible example...for being a Father to my sweet husband when his heart was so bruised..for teaching him the power of the words " I love you".

you will be missed...
rejoicing that you are in glory.
till we meet again..
xo

laying in bed this morning...4 am nursing Ella... savoring the warmth. her sweet smell....realize dans not in bed and calling my name...then I hear Ava's sweet voice.." Dada...Ava up..." and Jack chorusing in with a medley of dadas mamas pops gigiiiiis...and the day has begun!

our afternoon ...

1. put screaming kids in van. close door...pause before getting behind wheel
2. coffee drivethru. don't forget ice water for Ava...
3. go back thru drivetgru to get ice water. order an extra shot to dump n already purchased. pretend u didn't just go thru
3 make sound egfects to every animal Noah brought on the Ark
4.sing theme song to little Einstein ..Super Why and Curious George.
5. take a moment to decide if ur impressed or concerned that you know all the words
settle on impressed
6. realize its only been 19 minutes...
7.go visit daddy at work
make him come carside
enjoy the sweet laughter that seeing daddy brings...steal a quick kiss
8. turn up lullaby CD in effort to drown out cries at leaving daddy...pray it will lull babies to sleep.
9. fight temptation to get another coffee.
10. accept the fact that its 2 pm..the kids are not going to nap..its raining out and you can't drive around till 5:30 bathtime.
11.  French fries.
12. get home. big babies get fries. little baby gets mamas milk. mama gets 12 minutes of happy silence....

which brings us to now....still 2 1/2 hours till bathtime...and the tired babies all want to be held....the van is looking good again.
xo

i mean

reeaaalllllllllly..

my victory is too too sweet...

are you praying for me my lovely gentle warrior?

xo

Watch "We Are: Acoustic Version" on YouTube

days go by

..and my days become happier & crazier.

words fail

my heart feels So full tonight. like I can't find the words big enough...
to capture my love...
Dan...u are so strong..so gentle.
so wonderful.
Ava..today you are fighting a cold...your extra snuggles warmed me. you voice singing songs so sweetly was the perfect soundtrack.
Jack..your learning to climb! you sense of adventure challenges me..and your eyelashes are heartbreakingly long.
Ella...your beautiful dark baby blues...so observant...so lovely..

tonight our home seems to be bursting at the seams with
love.joy.wonder....

did I mention my sandman's tough guy lips? think ill go find a kiss...