Spent the morning in Newburyport... Playground.... Hot dog stand... Ice coffee - such fun!

plans

i have a dream for my girls... a dream for my little man...

i have plans for them- i watch them everyday and feel like i can see their future... 

jack is my music man.. he's always drumming and playing air guitar- is so sensitive to the Spirit.. cries when songs sound melancholy or sad... is a worshipper....but knows how to use his cute little charm in just the right way... my cowboy

( lord bind his heart to yours!!! - may purity be his) 

already ella is  music girl after my own heart.. lights up and bebop's to a good song.. puts her head down and soaks in the slow sweet sounds...

she's shaping up to be a strong personality- with a  killer smile. my firefly.

and my ava. my bluebird... such dreams i have for her...

 she's so sensitive to the beautiful things around her- so thoughtful and inquisitive..her view on life is like the ocean... 

 but my heart was seriously challenged this morning.. wondering what the future holds for her... wondering ( and thinking the worst) how her sensory needs will change and stretch or limit her  

and my God . my beautiful God in His strength and in His grace...

( thank you Lord for your Grace!)

quieted my heart and put my narrow view of His perfect plan

 in front of me face and spoke into my spirit.. 

" I have a plan for Ava West"

" I have a plan for Jack Sullivan"

"I have a plan for Ella Victory"

so gentle. so powerful.

who am i? 

so good to trust an all powerful God .

 a god who is my Saviour.. again and again and again.

thankful for His perfect plan. His perfect design.

more things i don't want to forget:
jacks eartube surgery " i hear you mama"

ella sharing

avas 1st day of preschool

breakfast picnics outside

feeding the chickens

Things

I need to blog about:

How jacks new deal is sticking out his tongue ...gross.. Fresh.. Cute.

How Dan bought a motorcycle

Ella's new skills

Ava's 3 rd birthday

How she calls her new bike her motorcycle and when she can't quite peddl she said this motorcycle needs gas!!!

Leah's visit and how long her legs are and how fast 8 years goes...

About how we sing and dance and play air guitar.. Drums...violin to I happy day you washed my sings away. 100 times a day

Bout how Ava always says that's why I'm a big girl.,,and " why you do that sometimes mama"

Bout how jack runs up and says want to hug you mama!!

Bout his much my babies love and laugh and fill up my heart

Dan said it last night. Our quiver is full and it feels good.

took my cowboy jack to the end doc today ..finally....8 ear infections in 7 months!!!! poor little man.. we had the best time together despite his constant pulling on his ears saying
ouchie mama..jesus heal please?

during the hearing test he kept saying 'so scary mama so so scary mama.. need daddy come fix it mama.. so scary...' so sweet

he just loves pop these days especially. pop and his g-tar..

I'm thinking ( and praying) that my jack will be a music man for sure... a catchy commercial will stop him in his tracks....any singing gives him cause to bust out his little air g-tar.....and his favorite game is deciding who plays what imaginary instrument... ava drums.. mama...violin... ella do re mi (piano)..."me jack..gtar!!"
songs of the moment 'o happy day you washed my sin away" (kim walker) and jack can be found alone rocking back and forth singing " no sweeter name than the name of jesus" (kari jobs)

watched him fall asleep in the car after a long doc visit . and am just marveling at his perfect lashes and his sweet lips and his amazing heart.
love.

Ava

Everything about you, my almost 3 yr old, seems so bright and beautiful. Your dark lashes and blue eyes.. Sweet sandy curls.. pOuty rosy lips. you are curled up against me, getting sleepy.. Telling me a story using words I didn't know you knew..like - Actually- and -brand new-.. and "to tall for words" your saying "pretty flowers make your heart tingle" and explaining to me how your 2 and a big big girl...

earlier today you excitedly and incredulously came up to me and said . ( pointing t your throat) 'Jesus put a new song right here mama.. for me... hear it now?' and sang the sweetest little melody.....i said oh ava its beautiful and you said 'yea.. jesus gave it to me...'

when I'm stressed out you lay your hands on m e and say a prayer for me to feel better....

what a bright beautiful amazing heart you have my bluebird.. your so lovable.

Went in kitchen to do a few things... Left Ella and Ava in living room.. Happily playing....told Ava she was in charge.....
Minutes later she runs into kitchen..


Mama ! Charge is hard work! Your turn now!

my heart tonight

I see the cloud, I step in
I want to see Your glory as Moses did
Flashes of light and rolls of thunder, 

I'm not afraid
I'm not afraid

Show me Your glory, show me Your glory, my God
Show me Your glory, show me Your glory
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/j/jesus_culture/show_me_your_glory.html ]
I'm awed by Your beauty, lost in Your eyes
I long to walk in Your presence like Jesus did
Your glory surrounds me and I'm overwhelmed

I'm not afraid
I'm not afraid

Show me Your glory, show me your glory, my God
Show me Your glory, show me Your glory

I long to look on the face of the One that I love
Long to stay in your presence, it's where I belong

Oh how we love you, Oh how we love you
Oh how we love you Jesus

-jesus culture

god in me

I got to share at NLC mothers day tea this past weekend.... Wanted to jot down some notes to remember...

spoke about the amazing women in my life.. 

about how gram luisa taught me that if your going to l i v e.. you better really LIVE....

about how gram dola taught me that love will find me.. not to go looking for love.

about how momalla said the sinners prayer with me.. when i was 5.. in the hallway at the grapal street house... stopping to wait for the phone to stop ringing because this was an important thing... 

about how she prayered for me one day - when i was sick and thank Jesus for healing me.. when i asked her why? because i wasn't better mommy said.. but i know you will be... such faith....

talked about how my whole life the Lord spoke over me through great men and women of God promising me miracles... that He was saving me for something great!

about me and the sandman.. and .our Testimony of love..how we are ~together by design~...

about our losses.. and our angel babies in heaven..

about how God spoke to my sad heart.. and reminded me that i may feel dry but my roots are deep and by the river... jer 17:7 & 8

about my miracle... Ava West

about my joy...Jack Sullivan

about my peace.. Ella Victory

about how now that my baby making days are over....

 He wants me to still be expectant with His dreams and visions for my life.... Pregnant with Promise.....

Delivery..dont be afraid..... just like giving birth to a baby.. the pain is quickly forgotten and diminished in the face of my future in His plan...

about how everyday i am challenged to be beautifully wonderfully amazingly rooted.. like a tree by the river... 

never fearing the heat.. or the dry times... 

trusting God in me... 

So this morning... Ella is finally sleeping after being up all night...

And Ava and Jack are quietly sitting eating oatmeal and I'm trying to steal these moments and read my devotional.. But I can't...I'm just staring at my babies. And breathing in the sweetness.. My heart is actually overflowing with thankfullness and joy.

My blessings are so great.

Oh man.... Dan just popped back in after already leaving for work with a Starbucks for me...well that's the icing on the cake..

He speaks my language. My cup runneth over...xoxo

Lord, you heard me.. You hear me.. And I'm so humbled and grateful. You restore my soul.