ava west

dear ava blue, 

i know you hear things different than i do.. 

you process tactile.. audio..visual .. vestibular ..properception different then me..... things even taste different to you!

.. i know you are bombarded every day with sensations that confuse your smart little brain and disorganize you. i know that means you like to crash into pillows and spin and spin and spin...

 running is a relief for you and squeezes make every day better.

 so we can spin whenever you want.. and i will turn down the "noise" on the radio so we can dance to silence...you can wipe off my kisses and i won't feel bad... and if you want to wear your winter hat with the ear flaps into july .. its ok...

 i love you my sweet fierce happily chaotic gentle bluebird. my sensational girl.

xoxxooxoxoxoxo, 

 mama owl

nursing

I'm snuggled in my chair. .nursing Ella tonight.. enjoying our special time and all of a sudden have been bombarded with all sorts of emotions.
almost grieving the lost days of nursing Ava and Jack...

ill never forget my 1 St moments as a mama...but the best thing was weeks later when I finally got to snuggle you Ava..in the nicu ..and you latched on for the 1 St time. we had 17 months filled with sweet special moments...through my  pregnancy with Jack and then together with Jack...then while pregnant with Ella my milk changed and u needed more so. the bottle took my place and suddenly...you needed me less. my favorite thing about giving you mamas milk was the way you stared up at me..the smoothness of your cheek and your long lashes...

my Jack! you and I spent long hours in the nicu together as i coaxed you to swallow my milk..our 1 St moments were right after u arrived..u seemed so sleepy ..little did we know your lung had collapse d .. not enough energy to nurse! but you caught on and you and i became inseperable!!! for 10 months i was the only on that could soothe you and the only one who spoke you r little language.. then my pregnancy with ella got intense and after i was suddenly hospitalized. you were suddenly weaned.... and you did soo good! such a champ.. you quickly adapted to getting comfort from GiGi and Daddy.. but i was a mess - alone in the hospital worried about and baby ella and missing my jack boy!!!

and now my sweet ella.. I'm soaking it all in - treasuring these alone times i have with you - listening to you  drink. and feeling your warmth.


so in awe of Gods creation and His perfect design.. His provision of nutrition and comfort - for baby and mama. so thankful.

calling my name

" mama! someones calling me name!"
says Ava..hand to ear....× 100 while I tell her no ones calling her name...

" yes mama..Jesus is calling me.he says  Avvvaaaa..."

Jesus is calling you? tell Him your listening!

" Lord..me listenin..." hand to ear

what does he say to you Ava?

and Ava sweetly points to her heart and says.

" Jesus tell Ava not mama ...silly."

ella

never want to forget how

you feel tucked asleep in my arms.

your sweet smell.

soft hand holding mine so tight.

your pursed lips as you stretch.

your my gift.
God heard my prayers. gave me you.
my peaceful victory girl...you light up my life.

growing

o my sweet babies..always growing and changing and delighting daddy and I. we see you with such wonder and joy!

Ava West:

31 months! 31 lbs & 35 inches tall!

sleeping 7-5:30am...

favorite foods: eggs.bacon. freeze pops. rice milk & chocolate almond milk.

loves to: read books ( you know so many by heart! ) snuggle with Ella. color with Jackboy. spin and twirl and run and crash. push ur baby stroller all around house. loves cinderella. always wants to dance now? 

loves fiercely. big helper . problem solver. full of wonder. my bluebird.

Jack Sullivan:

19 months. 24 lbs & 31 inches tall!

sleeps 6pm- 6am....loves to go night night.. gives great kisses and sweet hugs. 

favorite foods: everything!!! sweet potatoes and 3 bean chili! chocolate almond milk

loves to: read books.. stand on the couch .. climb up up upppp..brush teeth and play air guitar.. cars. 

has a sweet and sensitive spirit to the things of God.. a worshipper. my joyful jack.

Ella Victory:

5 months. 23 lbs & 29 inches long..( watch out jack)

good sleeper..good eater.. inquisitive...happy.. quickest smile.. such a snuggle bug...rolls from 

back to tummy.. reaches for everything.. just got a tooth!!! loves to watch her brother and sister dance.. laughs and talks up a storm... knows her mama... my gift of peace.. my little firefly.

gave Ava some newborn size diapers...for her babydoll....she looked at her tummy and said.."mamma I don't have a baby yet!?!"....

Cinderella

tonight my Ava & I watched Disneys Cinderella ....o the wonder! such excitement from my little bluebird.. the second the intro music started.. watching with eyes wide.. every now and then looking at me or squeezing my hand...saying - oo fun mama!

lots of laughing. and hugging from happy ava.

when the stepsisters were tearing cinderellas dress.. i looked at my girl and she had tears running down her face... i quickly hugged her and said oo no ava.. wait and see ! her fairy godmother is coming!!!..

 ava sighed... and as the sparkle of cinderellas fairy godmother appeared on the screen.. 

my sweetly fierce.. sensitive ava.. squeezed me and whispered.. 

"thank you Jesus for fairy godmothers..."

coffee & Jesus

sitting in my chair this morning ..with my mug..& my Bible.praying..

Ava asked me..what cha doing mama?  o I'm talking to Jesus Ava..

"silly Jesus..he's invisible "...while looking around with her beautiful baby blues...

silly Ava..I see Jesus everyday...

new goal

" I trust you Jesus"

audibly. everyday