Wednesday, March 14, 2012


I'm snuggled in my chair. .nursing Ella tonight.. enjoying our special time and all of a sudden have been bombarded with all sorts of emotions.
almost grieving the lost days of nursing Ava and Jack...

ill never forget my 1 St moments as a mama...but the best thing was weeks later when I finally got to snuggle you the nicu ..and you latched on for the 1 St time. we had 17 months filled with sweet special moments...through my  pregnancy with Jack and then together with Jack...then while pregnant with Ella my milk changed and u needed more so. the bottle took my place and needed me less. my favorite thing about giving you mamas milk was the way you stared up at me..the smoothness of your cheek and your long lashes...

my Jack! you and I spent long hours in the nicu together as i coaxed you to swallow my milk..our 1 St moments were right after u arrived..u seemed so sleepy ..little did we know your lung had collapse d .. not enough energy to nurse! but you caught on and you and i became inseperable!!! for 10 months i was the only on that could soothe you and the only one who spoke you r little language.. then my pregnancy with ella got intense and after i was suddenly hospitalized. you were suddenly weaned.... and you did soo good! such a champ.. you quickly adapted to getting comfort from GiGi and Daddy.. but i was a mess - alone in the hospital worried about and baby ella and missing my jack boy!!!

and now my sweet ella.. I'm soaking it all in - treasuring these alone times i have with you - listening to you  drink. and feeling your warmth.

so in awe of Gods creation and His perfect design.. His provision of nutrition and comfort - for baby and mama. so thankful.

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