nostalgic.

so far in my life ive been pregnant for 234ish days...ava west ....

245ish days... jack sullivan...

& 224 days...and counting!

knowing this is our last baby - the final piece to the puzzle of our family makes me happy...excited about the Lords plan for us....the possibilities in our beautiful future....

but knowing that this is my last pregnancy...

the last time ill feel the secret thrill of carrying a new life before any one else knows...

the last time in my life ill feel my body grow and change to accomadate a beating heart..

the last time  to feel the joy of the first movements- 

 and the glorious sound of thump thump thump thump...

i love being pregnant ..( even with this last pregnancys complications..)

i love my  curvy belly and i relish the cravings for silly foods and the tiredness and all that goes along with it.. its such a miracle and im going to miss it...

but o to see our little ones face and smell her sweet smell!

nostalgic. excited.

25

25 days left till this beautiful bellybaby doll can arrive

( @ 35 weeks....safely-ish...at the birthing center ..not a big scary boston hospital..)

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31 weeks pregnant.

bellybabydoll weighs 3 lbs 13 oz.

growing good!

                               Ava West is 2 years old!!!! cant believe it...my sweet little miracle!!!!

time

time.does not fly when your waiting.

BUT

today im thankful for

 body pillows

& my sandman sleeping next to me at night

& watching ava run run run back and forth across the living room till i say wow! veerrryy fasttt

& jacks sweet snuggles...warm litttle body

& bellybaby dolls rolling movments

 & my curvy pregnant belly

& grilled cheese

& big living room windows with the sunshining in

& papa bear and mommy

& peace in my house

& lots of hugs and kisses.

and time. because it does tick by.

30

so exciting. 30 left till 35 weeks pregnant!!

these days are going by a bit faster now...ive gotten into the routine of just ...laying...not easy!!!!

excited about the future of my little family.

thankful for my wonderful papa

and my sweet amazing husband.

spent this fathers day just so thankful.

peace in our house this morning.

love after bath before bed time with jack...reading books snuggling....

And then I say a little prayer,

for sweet dreams, and a courageus future for my little man.

I say Amen & roll over so his chubby cheek is pressed against mine

and inhale deeply.

I love the way he smells.

like a baby.

like possibility.

like hope.

like my son.

jack! your gowng so fast! almost a year old!!!

I smile and give him  kisses all over his face.

Then I pull his body in closer

wrap my arms around him,

and thank God for these moments.

pregnancy update

sooo......just for the sake of ...

baby #3

positive test dec 10th 9 ( days after d's ."procedure")

week 7,8,9,10...bleeding. stress. trust

week 12 diagnosed with placenta previa

week 20 its a girl! all is well with baby! cervix only 2.8

week 22  cervix 2.3

week 24 cervix 1.7...major funneling

week 26 contractions. cervix soft open funneling dilated 1cm

hospitalized. contractions. low blood pressure.

bedrest

week 29. still here. on procaradia 10 mg every 6 hours. contractions. at home

trusting.hopeful. 38 days.

hopeful.

im t r y i n g.